I'm not emo if I don't use emoticons

Fuck it. I'm depressed. I'm pissed off at everyone, too. Just the sound of R. tossing and turning in the next room gets my panties in a twist. I wish my life were somewhere else completely. I wish I didn't keep fucking up. I wish I could find something to do other than constantly reload blogs that I know haven't been updated. I'm such a pussy, I don't even comment anywhere. I just lurk. Obsessively. But I can't even talk to my therapist about this because I'm not about to admit to her just how big a loser I am. Just how little progress we are making. My damn breathing thing is happening again. And the chest pains. This time they are on both sides. And hurt more when I breathe. I want to be married and pregnant. I want to have someone to marry. I want all money problems to not exist. I want my credit to not be screwed up at the age of 21. God fucking dammit.

Well at least no one in the world will ever see this.